Quite a lot of things happened during this period of time, writing my story, making yiyi's super belated bday present (it's over for almost 2 months, haha) and moved house.
I've been living in the east for like almost 6 years sia, this sudden change of environment is like ... well, i get use to it very soon though.

Let talk abit abt the story i've been writing now. All i can say is, the progress is really slowwwwww T-T. the further i go into the story, the more i realise there is a need to edi it. there are quite a number of details missing and loads and loads of places need to be smoothen out. haiz, now then i understand the hardship those writters went through. haha.

Also, when i dig into the characters i've created, im also seeing the ambivalence of human nature. one of them asked, "why do you think this place is a wonder? it seems .... sad." Then the other replied, "sadness, that's why it makes the world so beautiful. " the second part he never said it out. 'the real sadness only exists after we loved and lost, it's the evidence of our deceased past, when everything was still simple and innocent. only because of this sadness, then i would know i have once loved.'

This is what i always believing in, do not scare to be sad, it is the evidence of the happiness we once got. if we have not experienced the memorable moments, it will not be a heart wrecking moment for us. while most of people put their attentions on the sadness they are suffering now, moaning at the lost they've gone through, why not look back at the happiness that they once shared? we happy, we sad, that's equal. Do not escape from our sadness, do not view those that are once happy as a painful experience, because they are not. They are precious, they made the beautiful world we living in, simply because we've loved, and that already worth it.

All of a sudden, i recalled a conversation with someone in the past. that day he asked me one question. He asked , " let's hypothesize a situation. one day when u are walking on the road, and this car is going to bang into you with high speed, at this critical moment, someone jumped in and pushed u out of the way. he was hurt badly and told u his final words, 'actually i'm in love with u for very long.' then he's dead. this person is ur friend all this while but he nv told u his feeling untill the day he die, and u also hav the feeling for him. How will you feel in this situation? towards this guy." well this is such an old plot we keep seeing in the drama series, and we also keep seeing those actor/ actress crying rivers and rivers of tears in the screen. but i told this someone, man, i will definitely hate this guy.

he seemed shocked at my ans, "he juz died for u and how can u say u hate him?" yes he died for me, but there is something seems everyone is missing out. he, someone i liked, killed himself. wat am i suppose to feel? love him? coz he saved my life and said he loves me? but his action resulted in his death, brought away the person i loved and leave me alone in this world to face the life that the one i feel for no longer alive, face the guilt of accidentally make him die, face his parents, for their son risked his life to save me.

"maybe he know that u will eventually get over the shadow of his death and stand up again, that's why he did that." well then he assumes too much, a scar is a scar, its not a wound. a wound can heal but a scar will never disappear. in that situation, i'd rather he choose not to save me. if he loves me, then he should take my place to carry the burden of lost, or juz dont tell me his real feeling. yes i sounded very selfish, that's a dying person's last will. but this is me, if u are seeking for a teary, touching, sobbing and emotional answer, u will not get it from me. maybe to him, he feel contented that he protected the one he loved, but the one that is left behind need a greater courage to live on.

"then you should hate the driver rite? for he let this tragedy to happen." he has the fault, but it's an accident. fate is not something we can control here, it's not abt asking tragedy not to happen, coz it's not possible, but how we going to live on. he's not treasuring himself, he dint take into the consideration that how i gonna feel when he's gone. for me, i hope he treasure himself, and live on, continue to exist in this world.

"but he also hope the same for u, that's why he choose to save u!" yes, but one of us has to die in that accident, my wish is im the one that died. it's against my will and left me alone in this world with guilt and lamentation, that's why i hate him. you see, my willingness to exchange my life for his shows that i love him, but in the end i hate him, that's human nature, it's all abt ambivalence.

Woot, finally i recalled that i hav a blog exist LOL, after like well... 7 months?

havnt been mapling much recently though, busy with stuff, yeah, and it's getting boring. The thrill of playing in the past is like totally gone. Last time we can get so excited with the first 10mil earned and now is like, 'wat's 10 mil huh?'. In game currency is losing it's value and inflations are as often as taking a bath. i always keep wondering, how are the first time starters gonna play this game sia, with the imba pricing.

Besides concentrating on studies recently, im taking up the hobby of writing. kinda unbelievable huh? but the urge of writing this story out is so strong that i finally put it into action after a few years of plotting. i cant believe my virgin fiction is a yaoi though, rofl.

im finishing up the 3rd excersice book, but the story seems only reaching 1/2 of the part 1.(sweat) dunno when i can finish it LOL.

it's really interesting to explore into human emotions, when i can stand in the 3rd party's point of view and judge on the character's excution of their feelings. sometimes i keep wondering, izit infront of time, all the feelings will fade in color? maybe we should be really grateful that our life span is short. A lifetime that seems endless is not always good after all.

Starter

Finally wrote something. This blog has been empty since I ever created it soooooooooo long ago. Juz feel lazy abt writing nia, plus the cmi grammars I always made. F7

Well, after heard some suggestion from Wanyi I think it's a good idea to start blogging. At least I have some space to express my thoughts and venting out all the emoness.

It will be mainly MapleStory based, and of course got my emo shyt here and there. Most of the time u wun get half of the stuff I wrote, but who cares, it's juz a place for expressing. No need to worry so much juz bcoz u have a brain different from mine. F3

I think that's it for now le bah, u will get to noe more abt me as the blog expands (somehow). Really nothing much though. o.0